Welcome to Great Britain!

Well, I had the best day of my life… and now I had the worst. Getting to Aberystwyth was a total nightmare! I got here 4 days ago but now I have the time to sit down and pay some attention to this blog. So… 26th September 2009 – crying (again) at the airport in Bulgaria, the flight was like getting on a rollercoaster, and after that I was too busy running and dragging my damn suitcase. When we arrived at Gatwick airport we had one hour to catch our train. And we thought everything would be ok……. We spent 10 min or so walking through so many corridors I forgot where we were. Then of course I made a blunder. While they were stamping my passport I dropped something on the ground, kneeled down to pick it up and then my rucksack dragged me down…. and I fell on my butt. (Stop laughing damn it!) I broke my sunglasses, not that I need them here, it’s been cloudy ever since we arrived. So after the passport thingy we spent another 20 minutes waiting for our luggage, my suitcase handle was broken or course, and till we get to the train station, our train was gone. We asked if our tickets could work for a later travelling, I showed the ticked reference code and the card I bought them with online, the man checked in the computer…. and said this was not the card they were bought with and began to look at me as if I’m a violator or something. So we bought new tickets… and this is where the fun began. We had to catch a train to get to London bridge, from there we took the underground to get to Euston station, and from there we had to take the train to Birmingham. And the whole time we were running like hell and dragging rucksacks, laptops, suitcases weighing 30 kgs total up and down elevators and stairs… With just 2 hours of sleep the night before, I still wonder how we survived. When we took the Birmingham train we had an hour and a half to travel with it, so we managed to rest a little. From there we took the train to Aberystwyth, met other Bulgarians… and we got there… here, I mean. But it was horrible. I don’t know if I want to go back the same way for the Christmas vacation. Since then we’ve been going to seminars, welcome meetings, today we registered in the university, but I still haven’t got my timetables with my lectures so I’m still nervous. At least I managed to buy the new AFI CD – that’s all that matters. xD That’s it for now, wish me good luck in adapting to wherever I’ve fallen into.

A Farewell to Joe

Well, that’s it – my last night in Bulgaria. I knew it’s going to be tough, but this is just ridiculous – I haven’t stop crying for…. a week maybe, and today I saw my father cry for the second time in my life. It wasn’t funny even when he gave me ‘that’ speech. I’m not regretting my decision and I haven’t regretted it for one second… but it still sucks…. I’m not dying to get the hell away from my parents, but once I get on the plane, I think I’ll cool down – it will be all over. This week has been dragging so slowly, I just want it to end. So… that’s it from here. No scribbles, sorry, I couldn’t think of anything (actually, be happy, you don’t have to read another piece of crap xD – yaaay, a smiley face).

To all my friends who I hope will read this blog from time to time to see if I’m alive – I love you, I’ll miss you like hell, sorry for all the times when I hurt you…. I’ll see you soon :] Ah, Fuck It, I’m going on tour, see ya in 3 months!!!

A Calm Before the Storm

I forgot I have a blog, didn’t I? I’m not even that busy – just counting down the days left till I leave for university. 2 weeks left – yesterday were 2 months…time sure flies by. I’m getting more and more nervous by the minute. The good part is that I overcame the phase of wondering what the hell I’m doing and why I’m going there in the first place. But then I kicked my ass and got over it… at least I hope so. The studying part is not what freaks me out that much, it’s the whole “new place, new people, new whatever” thing. Never been a big fan of changes. But I know if I don’t do it now, I’ll regret for the rest of my life. Plus I won’t be losing my nerves all the time, I’ll have fun, have new friends, learn something useful, go to concerts….. buy CDs….. especially buy CDs. xD So I’ll have hard time for a few months and then I’m sure I’ll do something stupid like I always do. xD But I would have already got used to my new life… That sounded reaally weird.

I haven’t written anything in a very long time. As usual I have tons of ideas but no time to sit down alone with my thoughts to put them into another depressing scribble. Something always comes up, I have to get out of my house as fast as I can, or I’m just too tired/lazy to write something. I’m sure my muse will kick in as soon as I settle in university. There’s gonna be a lot of gloomy scribbles then, I’m sure. But for now I’ll try to enjoy what time I have left with my closest people here… and try to finally write something, damn it!

Slow Dance

I hate forwarded emails. I just hate when someone sends me something while they also send it to a bunch of other people asking me to send it to someone else in order ‘not the break the chain or you’ll die within 10 days’. It’s really stupid. BUT… I just read something I feel I should post here – I’m not even forwarding it, besides barely no one reads what I write here (hehe), so it’s ok. I don’t know how much to believe its background, but it’s said it’s written by a terminally ill girl dying from cancer in a New York hospital. But it doesn’t really matter who wrote it, what’s important is the poem itself and its message. So just read it and shut up for a while…

Have you ever
watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to
the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading
night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Do you run through each day
On the
fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the
reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your
bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through
your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it
tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see
his
sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good
friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call
and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance
so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You
miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened
gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a
race.
Do take it slower
Hear the
music
Before the song is over.

Cat lover for life!!!

I just got bitten by a dog – by a fucking damn spaniel! It belongs to my neighbors and I took him out for walks while they were on vacation. And THIS is how it repays me – charming. Now I have to get ANOTHER vaccine, except the one I need for university. The phrase ‘bite the hand that feeds you’ is in full force today for me. The place on my leg where the bastard bit me got blue and bled a little. Man’s best friend my ASS!!!! I knew cats are the better breed the day I got my first one and I’m staying on their side to the grave! There’s a reason the Egyptians worship them. Besides, they’re independent and free-spirited and no one can tame them. Plus, there’s something dark in cats – you know, black cats, graveyards, voodoo and all that crap weirdos like me find fascinating. Dogs are just pathetic…. what was that joke: The dog thinks: ”Those humans do everything for me – they feed me, water me, play with me, take care of me – they must be gods.” The cat thinks: “Those humans do everything for me – they feed me, water me, play with me, take care of me – I must be god!” xD That’s why I always have too many cats at home – currently 8. But once the little angels grow up, they’ll go to a nice home…. most of them, at least… or else!

 

I haven’t written here in a looong time. So what happened during that time – I went to the seaside… with my parents. Initially, the plan was to go with my “friends”, but they all decided to screw me up and my summer was about to be ruined but then I went with my parents and at least got to spend 3 days with my Internet buddy…. So actually, I’d have to thank the traitors who first promised me something and then lied to me – they screwed one good thing, but gave me another one that was even better than them. And from now on, I’m becoming selfish – ‘every man for himself’ like Sawyer likes to say. And someday, karma will get back at them…. or I’ll help, who knows. They’ll understand what neglect is and they’ll know how it feels like to prefer your fucking boyfriend to them. Oh, yes, sweet revenge…

What else – I paid my first fee for my dormitory today. I had to call their office and pay by a debit card – my, I have to get used to that accent! I really love British accent, but the woman on the phone was too much. On top of that, she talked really fast and I had to ask her to repeat some things twice. But now everything’s done – no more payments till I get there. I just need to get my translated birth certificate and get an European health card. And get some vaccines in order not to get rabies. That…… bloody dog!!!! There’s something funny for and end – his name is Fluffy….

Saddest Word Ever

Well, what do you know, two posts for one day… Or not, it’s 4 minutes after 12 already. My muse came a little late, I guess. I have no intention of explaining my latest piece of crap, so just read along.

 

I've been on the track to the Great divide
a couple of times - that is how I've lost my mind
Going once, going twice, now I'm sold into slavery
to the big open world without any bravery

Imagine the crossroad of your life
with multiple directions, each pointed by a knife
There's the back - a dark room in your brain
There's ahead - a future going insane
There's right and left - people killing people
And there's you - alone, standing in the middle...

There's a rose bush in my home
that only blooms at the break of dawn
And I've got fireflies by the window,
and icicles in the snow
And I will give you ladybugs in a jar -
the best job I've done so far...

In the future, in the mirror
you will look at your eyes
and will not even remember
that I used to look in them too once

And the spiral will start spinning,
the sphere will keep on wheeling
One rose will fade, another one will flower
There'll be new figures on the board,
and the past will be devoured

The fireflies all flew away
to another window next to which to stay
Life has just begun, I know, and you'll forget about me
How foolish could we have been, for we did not see......

Aw, what a cute wittle baby!

I held a baby today for the first time in my life. No matter how little they are, babies are capable of what grownups aren’t – fixing someone’s mood. Mine, in particular. I don’t even know why I’ve been feeling like crap but having a new life around you can really kick out any suicidal thoughts you might be having and show you life IS worth living. Besides, they smell cute…. when their diper’s not full. I could barely hold the little guy – he was so small I was afraid not to break him. Lucky kid – still doesn’t know anything about selfishness or malice. Aaaand I’m going down to my hole again… I have to be around babies more often… which doesn’t mean I want one of my own. I’m not very sure I have a way with kids. Maybe because most kids I see every day don’t fit the phrase “Children are our future”. Whoever thought of toy guns is a fucking bastard. And people who don’t know how to raise kids shouldn’t have ones. But the point is – every new life brings joy and shows you there are more important things than your weekly depression, your boredom, your attention seeking and your melodramatic bullshit. Babies don’t care how good you are at being a drama queen – they need you to teach them how to be better than you….