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For some time now, I have been writing something like a book, but the process is so slow, I don’t think it will be finished soon. I showed an excerpt to one of my friends and he said I should post it somewhere. And the blog is the lucky winner. If at some point in the future, my dream comes true and this thing gets published, I would just like to say that the following extract is my own work, sooo – all rights reserved and no touchy-touchy!

 

“Growing up – can you actually feel the moment it happens? Is there some point in time in which you are still a child, and in the next – no longer one? I still don’t think I’ve Grown up. I’m Growing older – but inside I can see the little Girl, a bit weird, that no one wanted to play with in kindergarten. But one distinct time I actually felt things would never be the same was when I Graduated university. It’s like you’re in the middle of the ocean, and your life-belt suddenly cracks. And you’re on your own. And you either learn to swim or drown. It still hits me sometimes – the sudden realisation that I will never again sleep late on a weekend in my bed, in my room, in my house, because I had to Get up early all week for school; that the neighbour kids will never again call me out to play; that I will never again spend the whole summer at my grandmother’s flat, playing with my cousins; that we will never again play hide and seek till midnight, or pray for rain on a really hot day; I’ll never again catch fireflies in the dark... They’re now chased by someone else.”

Karma

My muse showed up at 3 last night, and I just finished writing it. I’ve always believed in karma, of all the things to believe in, I think karma is the most just and it makes the most sense. And I guess I’ve been reading on spirituality and meditation recently which inspired me. I’m not delving into any religion, I’m just trying to express how I feel about Mother nature, acknowledging that good things come with bad and vice versa. So I wanted show her my respect with this scribble.

There's no moon here
There are no stars here
There's no sun here
There's no light here

There are no hearts here
There's no joy here
There's no love here
There's no hope here
.................................

You are the earth,
you are the sky,
you are the dirt,
you are bird's cry

You are the rivers,
you are the moon,
you're the silvering
                 monsoon.

As above, so below
You see all, joy and woe
East and West, hunter and pray.
South and North - fire purifies all sins,
                            then water washes them away.

Protectress of all wild and free
Mother just, weaver of destinies
You're everything there is, black and white
...For the darkness mixed with darkness shall create Light.

Goodbye, 2013, you were the happiest year of my life.


Multi enim ad minim veniam…

Halloween movie marathon

Happy Halloween, fiends! I hope everyone is having a spookishly awesome day. As someone stuck in a new city without knowing anyone and not going to any parties or trick-or-treating, I decided to be helpful and share my Halloween movie playlist. Just because you’re on your own doesn’t mean you can’t have a terrific Halloween. So, here it is:

I started off with Hocus Pocus today. It’s fun and funky in that specific 90s style we all love and miss (or at least those of us who were born in it). My favourite part without a doubt is the song Sarah sings to lure the children to the witches’ house. I remember looking up the lyrics and someone argued they were written by Edgar Allan Poe – but they’re not. It’s still a nice tune and part of the magic of the film (Get it, magic? Anyone? Anyone?). It’s a definite must-see on Halloween for me.
Jumping into the 21st century with Coraline. Those of you who like stop-motion animation will really like it. An animation, yes, but the other-mother still scares the crap out of me. It’s definitely weird and crazy – exactly what I like, so it fits perfectly in my list.
I Sell the Dead is another favourite of mine. It’s got zombies, vampires, corpses, twisted humour (my favourite kind) – what more do you need for Halloween? Plus we’ve got one certain hobbit here, and if you know me just a little bit, you’ll know I have a slight obsession about anything related to The Lord of the Rings. So I recommend I Sell the Dead very, very much.
Back on the witches topic, I can’t go without mentioning Practical Magic and The Craft. The first doesn’t take itself very seriously, which I think is what makes it so charming. However, I really can’t forgive them for the geographical location they gave Bulgaria – “somewhere around Transylvania” (which is not even a country but part of Romania). Anyway, it’s still a nice and funny interpretation of the witch craft. Speaking of crafts, the latter movie also offers a nice perspective of the witches’ world – even though it’s a teen one. I think it was The Craft that got me into wicca for a brief period, but I wasn’t ready to commit to that. I do believe in karma, though, that’s why I really like the message of the film – it doesn’t matter if we’re talking about magic, or about life in general, but whatever you send out, you have to be prepared to face the consequences.
American Horror Story, though a TV show, not a film, is a Halloween marathon in itself. Every episode is uniquely twisted, and as a bonus – you get to choose which season to watch – be it a haunted house theme, an asylum, or, again, going back to the good old witchcraft. I recommend checking out the latest episode, which was a great Halloween addition.
And of course, it’s not a proper Halloween until I’ve seen my favourite favourite film – The Nightmare Before Christmas. It just celebrated its 20th anniversary, if I’m not mistaken, and within those years, it managed to become a timeless classic for all of us spooky dark children. On one side, I’m really happy it’s so popular, but on the other, I don’t entirely agree with what Disney did to it after they bought it. It just doesn’t fit in within the Disney universe, but they still blew up its popularity beyond count. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but that’s the one movie (in my opinion) that needs to remain obscure and not put together with Disney’s fairytales (which I adore as well, but separately).

I can name a lot more movies that are a perfect fit for a Halloween movie marathon, but these mentioned here are my top…. 7, as it seems. So I hope you enjoy the list, and have a really good time on Halloween. I’m off eating candy and finishing my marathon!

Spiral

And I’m back again. So is my muse, apparently, trying to compensate for a whole year of no writing. You can see I’m using a similar line from the previous scribble – I just really really like it, besides I changed it a little bit for “We, the Dark” and wanted to still use it in its original form. I didn’t write it all at once, so you could notice changes in mood every other line. That’s all about the scribble.
On a different note, American Horror Story’s new season finally began and as usual, it did not disappoint. The first 5 minutes alone were absolutely sick and twisted – as they should be, considering the show’s history, so it’s all good. I wish I could say the same about Supernatural’s opening of the new season – it felt more like a ‘meh’ episode, and I really hope it’s going to pick up soon. Ah, I do have a favourite from the new shows – Sleepy Hollow (surprise, surprise). On one side - yes, I’m hooked, on the other – this show is yet another addition to the vicious circle started by Lost, later included Fringe, and now this one. And it is a vicious circle, because it’s pretty much the same people behind each show, they screw up the endings beyond repair, leaving me completely confused about what the hell I have just seen (and still crying, nonetheless!), and I continue to watch their shows. Let’s just hope third time’s the charm and Sleepy Hollow will escape that fate.
Almost forgot about Once Upon A Time – I did like the season’s opening, but let’s face it, I’m a sucker for fairytales. The only thing that gets me is all the flashbacks from the Enchanted Forest – I’m beginning to mix which story happened when, since they’re not in chronological order. Apart from that, they’re doing well for me (let’s just hope they don’t screw up Ariel the way they did Sleeping Beauty… and Belle).
That concludes my rant about few of my favourite shows – and now you know a little bit more about me too. But I think it’s finally time for the scribble and for me to stop talking. Enjoy!

I'm inspired, tormented, spoilt, neglected
         Desperate, starving, faithful, lying
     Twisted, happy, suicidal
Fickle, stable, and immortal
Loving, caring, and resentful
   Alone, lonely, and forgetful
Bubbly, screaming, dancing, dreaming
             Jumping, running, chasing, flying
Underwater laughing, and flamingly crying
   Overcompensating and underachieving
            Celebrating life, burying, grieving
      Weird, normal, crazy, moral
Awkward, anxious, selfish, cruel
Ironic, sarcastic, fantastic, bombastic!
.......................................................
I'm the bad guy in someone else's story,
just like you are the one in mine

We, the Dark

Weell, what do ya know, I wrote something! It’s surprising how helpful reading what you’ve written before can be. Throw in some pondering over the absurdity of mankind, and you got yourself a scribble. The pondering is, as usual, so camouflaged in my weird way of writing that you may not really notice it’s there, but it is, trust me. I called it “We, the Dark”, because I’ve had the phrase in my head for the last few days and I thought it’s just fitting. So, enjoy!

Welcome, my dear, to the end of the world -
where we drown in our tears, in our man-made flood!
There's a place for every traitor under the sun,
there's a bullet for every sinner under the gun!

With our heads in the clouds and our feet on the ground,
we get lost in the crowds of little faceless clowns
Dignity is most often too high to climb
And vanity is welcome only at special times

Your life is a book where nothing really happens
Your dreams became so small they don't really matter
You're the bad guy in someone else's storyline
just like I'm the one in yours, eternally entwined:

A horned beast in a river of trees
Naked, exhausted, tormented it drinks
From a poisoned well in a whirlpool of winds
Grinning and growling, awaiting to be skinned.

Walking backwards and hitting the currents
See-through phantoms is what we've become -
the curse of our parents
and the children of the new millennium

You ruined me, I made you -
found you washed up on the shores
You broke me like a piece of statue
puppeteers, my strings are yours!

“I’m going on an adventure!”

I know, I know, I’m a disgrace. Last thing written here was on January 1, and, oh, lookey, it’s September 24 already – that sounds like a short year now, doesn’t it? So I guess I should explain where I’ve been all this time and why I didn’t write anything. Well, long story short, I was too busy being happy! Well, still am, but I felt like talking just now. It’s not that I didn’t have any time at all – true, I was working 3 jobs at some point and the last thing on my mind was my blog – but I have some major changes in my life, got some free time and I thought I’d share. The other reason I didn’t write at all is that I’m usually a very private person and I don’t like exposing every single detail of my life on YouTube or Facebook, let alone here. But I guess, talking only about general things, and leaving out the details should be fine.
So, the big news – after staying a year after graduating in the tiny town of Aberystwyth, Wales, I got the courage to move to the big city, and now I’m enjoying the awesome Cardiff. I did go home in between that, for about 3 weeks, because I hadn’t been home for over a year and a half. I thought I’d surprise my parents, and they had no idea I was coming home, so the looks on their faces were priceless. Aaand, I got it on camera as a nice remainder. The biggest surprise for me, though, was that my little puppy (that’s not really a puppy anymore) was absolutely ecstatic to see me, and barely left my side for 3 weeks. It’s amazing he remembered me after almost 2 years. I wish I had stayed more, because in the end, it felt like I’d been there less than a week, and it was really hard leaving all over again, but I had things and people waiting for me in the UK that I couldn’t leave behind either. So, as of Sunday, I’m a city girl! But it really isn’t as posh as it sounds – primarily because I’m still getting used to it. I mean, 19 years in a small town, 4 years in another small town, then – BOOM! – the big city. But I’m keeping a positive attitude, even though it’s a little scary. One of the main things that’s driving me forward is - *geeky moment* – the scene in The Hobbit where Bilbo is running through the fields shouting: I’m going on an adventure! So this is my adventure, and I hope to experience and enjoy every bit of it (and leave out the trolls).
As for scribbles, I really don’t have anything (again, busy being happy). I’m still writing, though very slowly, I just don’t have anything put together. I’ve got lots of ideas, just struggling sometimes how to transform them into words. So when I do come up with anything, it will show up.
I think that’s all I’ve got to say for now, I’ll try and write more, about random stuff that I like, maybe, because just talking about my day is not gonna cut it (it’s really boring). If anyone is still out there, sorry it’s been so long, and to anyone who finds this thing by accident – I hope you can read the font! So have a nice day, afternoon, evening, whatever time it is there, and I’ll be back soon!