Chill, I’m not dead yet, hold the balloons for later. I just forgot to write in here, university and depression can be hell of an amnesia agents when working together. I guess the last sentence explains enough what I have been doing for a month and a half so I’m not going into much details. But, just so you know, my research project is going well at the moment. I don’t remember if I said here what it is about (see, depression – works every time!), but just to be sure – it’s about music. Surprise, surprise. Basically, I’m looking at how music fans construct their identity when they talk about favourite styles, bands, etc. And do you know what I learned so far? I learned that even if we don’t like people putting labels on us and stereotyping us, we still do it ourselves. I learned that we’ll always group each other to distinguish “me” from “them” and “them” from “us”. I learned that we always put barriers, and heaven forbid for someone to put us in the wrong category. And then we wonder why we can’t get along. Because “we” are better than “you” and because “mine” are better than “yours”. This is what I learned for 3 years of studying the human behaviour – we want to belong, but also be unique. For 3 years I heard so many theories explaining why we are what we are. Some people said, “Hey, it’s all about society!”, others said, “No, it’s all about genes!”, third shouted, “No, everything is about sex!”…. This is what I know now – it’s a little bit of everything. Sometimes I think psychology was made up to complicate simple things and came up with big words to describe things everyone knows. By the way, do I already sound like the sad lonely cynic I’ve turned out to be? Because I sure think I do. I still don’t know who I am, I don’t know who’s responsible for what I am, I managed to become unique, but not belong. I did half of the job, and I still don’t like myself. I still haven’t made my parents proud, I still don’t know what makes a parent proud. Is it not repeating their mistakes? Is it becoming something as different from them as possible? If someone has the right answer, step forward. No one? Yeah, I thought so. This is what I know – we are the curse of our parents and the children of the new millennium – “she doesn’t eat meat, he doesn’t like girls”. “We” don’t know where we’re going, but we’re going there together, and “they” don’t have the right to say anything. “They” gave us a world of ruins, we’ll make an art from it. If “you” don’t like it – stay the hell away from “me”!
