"You are my best friend, you are my only friend"

Okay, I’m not exactly done with all assignments. But I have the funniest report to do – I have to analyze songs! Which is exactly what I do with most AFI lyrics, so thank you for that, too, Davey! At least for that I’m prepared well. I wish I could choose the songs myself, but they listed them for us very conveniently. We have to see if there is a difference between the themes of lyrics from the 1950s and from 2000s. And imagine that, I have to analyze Rihanna’s “Umbrella”… ella, ella. xD They said the topic last year was about gangster rap, but some people found the lyrics TOO offensive and cried, so they had to change it to “What makes a number one hit?”. Well, it would be a fun pastime for the next 20 days. I have to write it now, ‘cause the deadline is the 11th of January and I won’t be here – I’ll be one extra week home. But at least I’ll have done it and won’t worry about it.

We’re going to a fair tonight. I’m not sure what the fairs here look like, but they’re probably like ours, without the crappy music and all the garbage… I hope! I’m also planning to start doing some Christmas shopping – I’m definitely not spending all my money on presents, but everyone I love will get something…. even if it’s the last thing they’ll get from me.

I watched “Mary and Max” the other night… and I cried like a baby! AGAIN! Something’s seriously wrong with me, ‘cause I’ve been crying to all animations I watch these days. We went to see “Up!” on 3D last week and I didn’t stop crying during almost the whole movie. I’m glad I had glassed on so no one saw me. Or maybe they’ve started to make the animations sadder. I have to make a list of all animations I’ve cried to. Let’s see:

1.Wall-E – check
2.Up! – check
3.Mary and Max – check http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkUI3SZyKCs
4.Kung Fu Panda - check
5.Lion King – check, check, check (whaat, I watched it last week, still counts)

Or probably it’s just me….. that would make more sense, I’m bipolar after all. xD
This is the most informative post I’ve written in a while, so it’s time for me to shut up and go examine my lyrics.

Happy Dirtdaaay!

During this time of the year this is the phrase I say most often. Today’s Jade’s Dirtday, so Happy Dirtday, Jade! Since I forgot to post the birthday lyrics the last two times, I’ll make up for that now. This is for all of you, guys, you’ve saved my life more times now than I can remember, so thank you, be well, and I hope I’ll see you soon! ^^

And tell me what really matters
Is it the money and the fame?
Or how many people might eventually know your name?
But maybe you touch one life
And the world becomes a better place to be
Maybe you give their dreams another day
Another chance to be free…

P.S. – I finished them! I just finished my last essay for this semester, I’m doooone! I still have to study, but at least it won’t be so stressful. And most of the seminars are over, no more going to the other campus, yaay! Now all I have to do is to count down the days… which are 23 by the way. I didn’t check the calendar this time, I am actually counting them down now. ^^

Happy Dirtdaaaay! (again)

I told you I’m gonna write again today. So Happy Dirtday to Ville Valo! I hope I’m gonna see HIM too some day, and as for Ville – all I wanna wish him is to be okay and to rock on as usual. Next album’s out on Valentine’s Day – what a “coincidence”. No need to worry about getting it at least. Anyway, Happy Dirtday, be well, be cool, careful with the smoking AND drinking! ROCK ON!

Happy Dirtday!

Yaay, Happy Dirtday to Davey!!! I know almost no one reads this, but I have to say it every time. All I want to wish him is to be okay aaand to put his lip ring back on xD I know they’ll be playing in Birmingham on the 12th of April, and Birmingham is like an hour and a half from here, so I reaaally, reaally hope I can go and finally see them. Well, that’s it from now, see ya in two days for the other Dirtday guy ^^

Wishlist

There is one thing I was going to write about here but completely forgot. While I was still in school, my two friends and I wrote a wishlist in our school chronicles for each one of us. The things we want to do before we die, or even things we can’t do, but can still dream about. I was going to put my wishlist here the same day we wrote them, but I shut down about that. Thank goodness that I took the chronicles here – everytime I miss my friends I read them – I don’t necessarily feel better but it kinda feels like they’re here for a moment. And today finally my wishlist will be published here – just in case something happens, you know… It was written on the 23rd of February aaand 9 months later here it is:

1.See all my favorite bands live (1 down, a lot more to go)

2.Skydive and/or bungee jump

3. Hear someone singing my lyrics…. sorry, my scribbles

4.Graduate from university

5.Survive 2012! (with all my friends)

6.Make the world a little better

7.Get at least 1 tattoo and piercing

8.Go to Finland, New Zealand and Oakland

9.Find a really cool looking dude for a boyfriend (By ‘cool’ we mean ‘dead-good looking’)

10.Be reincarnated (as a rockstar! xD) OR become a vampire ^^

Wow, they’re pretty stupid now when I look at them. But dreams don’t have to make sense, right?

76th post since I started this blog

Goood morning, Canada! No, I’m just joking – too much South Parking these days and now I’m blabbing nonsense. But actually it’s the only way to help me NOT lose my mind completely. So what’s new – I finally began to write my essay for the InterPol module – it’s about Realism, and writing itself is not a big deal, but all those rules how to reference, how to quote, how to cite really make me nervous. I sure hope I’ll do it right, ‘cause I don’t want to be accused of fucking plagiarism. On a brighter note, my CDs are increasing on a total of 2 every week. And it feels AWESOME! xD

I’m still bipolar, don’t think I’m okay now, after 5 minutes I’ll probably be feeling like crap. But apparently my friends think this is annoying – they can’t stand me when I’m hyper active, and they can’t stand me when I’m super-duper depressed. Fuck, I thought friends are supposed to support you, not to whine that I ruin their perfectly good mood. Hellooooo, find someone to explain to you how bipolarity works! It’s not my fucking fault, damn it. But I’m certainly not going to the doctor for this, ‘cause I might end up in the madhouse. Not that I don’t want to get out of here right now, but I’d prefer home to the funny farm. I have a month and one week left till we get home – no, I’m not counting down the days, I just checked. xD I’ll finish the essay today or tomorrow, then I have to make the damn report in psychology, then I have to write the other essay, again in psychology, and I’ll be done! Done for this semester, but at least I won’t have so many things to worry about.

If I haven’t said that before, my flatmates are insane! The other day one of the girls came to our room and said that it’s sparking clean. Wtf, if I see just one speck of dust on the floor, it’s dirty to me. And I thought I’m a messy person and wasn’t raised well. Who knew making your bed in the morning is a big deal. Anyway, they’re still cool and funny.

Did I mention I have voodoo dolls? 4, to be precise. They’re very cute, they sell them here at Store 21 for one pound each and whenever I go there to buy something, I get one. So if someone pisses me off, all I’ll need is just one hair of their head and some needles – and I already have the needles. xD Naah, I’m kidding, I wouldn’t do voodoo to someone, my karma is bad enough anyway. Wow, this post became too long, time to go watch South Park!

Bloody hell!

I just donated blood. I fulfilled my moral duty for today – never been more proud of myself! And I got stickeeers! ^^ The good part is I didn’t feel dizzy or anything. The bad part is…. we went too early and had to wander around for an hour…. in the damn wind. But everything ended well, so it’s ok. Gonna watch a zombie movie now, catch ya later!

P.S. – I started to write here too often, didn’t I?

Disturbed, Used, Refused, Lost, Forgotten

Imagine that, I wrote something! I’ve been coming up with separate verses and lines, but couldn’t actually find a way to put them together. Until today – after a few finishing touches my new piece of crap is done. And it’s a long piece of crap. I guess all the psychological nonsense finally got to me so now I obviously have a split personality. I wish I had just that. I’m not myself these days (“not feeling myself” – another psychological crap). I’m more bipolar than ever, I think about home and all my friends there all the time, I’m alone most of the day, and lonely as a result, all my friends here have “someone” and screw me up most of the time…. I really don’t know how long I can last before I do something stupid to myself… but don’t mind me, it’s scribbles time!

We're falling through space
in a very slow pace.
Long, long ago we fell from grace
and now we're wandering around the maze...

Please applaud - this was the end of the beginning
Join our unholy choir now and we'll all start singing
It's about how me and myself began to fight one night
Just follow me to the end while I'll begin to cite.

"I'm the non-patriot, the bastard,
the holy bitch from hell.
Here's the story now uncut and mastered,
would you care for me to share what I have to tell?"

"I'll tell you what I'd care for:
I wanna see you play the victim,
I wanna see if it'll fit you.
I want you to bury your head in the sand,
I want you to want to take a fucking stand!"

"-I'm perfectly happy here, on the borderline,
I don't need the demonic, I don't want the divine
Instead, I have a desire for something fake,
I want, oh, I want to be a designer's mistake"

"You're bitching at me about Heaven and Hell,
you're bitching about having souls to sell,
you question the decisions of everyone else,
but when it comes to you, you play self-defense"

"And you're a pathetic little suicide
lost on the way to Wonderland,
day-dreaming about patricide,
oh no, it's not my head that's in the sand

Your days are numbered and you know it
You're the one who set the dead-line
I know you wanted to go home before it
but I'm afraid you don't have a lifetime

I can see your soul, I can see in your head
One of them is gone, the other one is dead
There's an avalanche behind you, you won't care to run
And I'm doomed to go with you - oh, why do you always kill all the fun?!"

"I owe you no explanation,
you're just hidden letters in my mind
A poor, sick, flawed brain creation
Here's what I see in your sight:

An upside down painting,
a house with no roof,
a poem without a beginning,
a friendship aloof"

"Save me your melodramatic bullshit
Pull the trigger if you dare
You won't find peace even in the hell's pit,
'cause you know what they said - home is nowhere!"

Zombie land

Halloween’s over, next stop – Christmastown. First I have to write two bloody essays and one bloody report, but once that’s over, I can breathe freely and anticipate my coming home for the holidays. But now the story from Halloween.

After we, the girls, put make-up on all the guys, we went out at around 9pm. Our first stop was the beach. There we had a little encounter with two female cops, because some of the guys had alcohol in their hands, and it’s not allowed to drink on the streets, so they took their details. I’ve never been happier that I’m straight edge. After that we went to a bar, ‘cause most of the group wanted to go and get drunk properly, but it wasn’t opened yet, so we headed to the castle ruins…. And who do you think we met there? Our two sweet female police officers, who were checking the castle in case someone had gone there to do something weird which they don’t do just on Halloween. There were some girls sitting on a bench who called us ‘fucking emos’ – yes, they were high. I don’t think we looked like anything even close to emos that night. Anyway, we took some pictures at the castle, went back to the beach for more pictures, aaand then back to the bar at which point I wished the guys farewell and went back to my room, ‘cause I was tired, I was cold, the white thing on my face was sticky and I wanted it off immediately, plus I have no business doing in a bar, do I? On the way back I saw enough zombies, witches and sluts. If you ask me, Halloween is an excuse for the whores to act like whores. For me, it’s an excuse to wear as much black make-up as possible. xD So I got home (‘home’ is definitely not the word I would use to describe the place I live now, but it’s the shortest), took my face off and kept my tradition to watch my favorite, favorite movie – The Nightmare Before Christmas. I almost fell asleep at the end, but I managed to keep my eyes opened. I went to bed at 2, woke up at 11:30 and was sleepy the whole day. At 2:30 my friend, one of our roommates and I went to see Toy Story in 3D. It was my first 3D experience, but the movie wasn’t very suitable, ‘cause there weren’t many things ‘in the air’. We’re gonna se Up soon, so I hope it will be better. There you go, that’s enough for me not to write for a whole week.