Phone calls are poor consolations

“If the world's coming to and end,
if the darkest days are here, not ahead,
if someone tells me: you can save only one from this earth
...I would always choose you.”

“What’s the best cure for love?
A healthy dose of cynicism!
What’s the best cure for cynicism?
Love…”

Wow. December 31st, 2012. We made it. Who would’ve thought? Well, anyone with enough common sense and logical thinking, really. And then me, the idiot. I had a really weird dream the other night – the whole hype around 2012 was because there was going to be an eclipse. But instead of the Moon hiding the Sun, the Sun hid the Moon at night. It was still dark outside, but the Sun was still shining. If we trust the dream dictionary, an eclipse means losing faith in yourself. But really, who believes in silly shit like dreams, and souls, and dead grandmas looking after you? Oh, yeah, me, the idiot. And let’s be honest, I’ve never had much faith in myself to begin with.
I said in the last entry that I’d be having my first Christmas away from my family this year. And it sucked. I really did try, I had fun on Christmas Eve, and then I just gave up. I guess I can’t function without the people I love. I wasn’t even in the mood to celebrate New Year and was planning on being alone. But my friends didn’t let me. I’m really really thankful that at least they still haven’t got tired of me. Hell, I get tired of me all the time, I really don’t know how they do it. But I’m glad for each and every one of them. And overall, 2012 wasn’t as bad as everyone accused it of being. After all, I managed to achieve 3 of my goals I had on my wishlist (numbers 4, 5 and 9 – for those of you who don’t remember what they were or don’t know what I’m talking about – either look them up or piss off). And also something that wasn’t on the list (because it wasn’t certain at the time) – I lived to see The Hobbit finally filmed. Now that I think about it, I should wish to live till at least 2014 so I can see the other two. 2014 – that sounds so weird – like by then we should already have androids as housemaids, live on the Moon and go to school with aliens. And what have we done till 2012? Released phones for which people starve so they can afford to buy, and televising beauty pageants with 5 year olds. Well, I’m sure there are a lot of good things as well, but you know me (or don’t, who cares), I always look on the dark side of life! Speaking of, time for another New Year resolution. I remember a few years ago, I wished to be a little less naive. The following year I wished to be a little more trusting. Well, screw that, I’m wishing to be a lot less naive again. It really hurts less – you expect nothing and don’t get disappointed (unfortunately, sometimes even this bulletproof plan doesn’t work). I also wish to write more – I haven’t done anything in probably 6 months. Being happy really doesn’t do good to my muse. Buuut I’m a little fucked up at the moment, I might see that eclipse realised on paper – or on the computer screen. Anyway, enough blabbing. To everyone reading – have a happy New Year, try not to disappoint and hurt anyone and don’t let yourselves be disappointed and hurt too. To 2012 – you were actually pretty good to me, so thank you! I’ll catch you all next year, bye!