It’s not okay.

I opened the blog from the beginning a few minutes ago, just to see what I was like then, in case I have forgotten, and to see if I’ve made any progress with… actually with everything. Turns out this blog had a birthday recently – 2 years. Wow… I thought it was more. I did have another blog a few years back, but I didn’t really know what to write about in it, so I just wrote one post and left it, and eventually I deleted it. But this one turned out to be my personal diary that anyone can read. That’s the thing with the internet – it can divide people and bring them together. I read this quote today by Esther Dyson, “The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.”  So I can pour everything I need to let out in this blog, I can be myself, but at the same time, any weirdo with an access to a computer can see it and read it. It’s… kinda fascinating in a way.
If you haven’t noticed already, I’m not in my greatest mood. I had a really bad day. Everything began to go wrong since this morning. First, I was woken up by a text message, then I received an email by one of my lecturers that just made me wanna strangle somebody. You see, we had an assignment to transcribe a celebrity interview. By itself, this was pretty stressful and time consuming, because you have to pause the clip every few seconds to write down everything they say, and then constantly rewinding the parts where you can’t hear what they’re saying. We had to work in pairs, and my partner and I managed to get it done yesterday, and I sent it to the lecturer in charge. The email I mentioned was just too much. She began nagging about the transcription not being in the right font, and that we hadn’t put the proper headings at the beginning, and stuff like that. I know we have to do our assignments, but why do you have to nag about so small things? My whole day went straight down the drain, because I couldn’t stop worrying about it. We edited it, the way she wants it, and if she doesn’t like it again, and makes it a problem for us, and if this affects our reports…. I seriously don’t know what I’m gonna do. I don’t even know if I have the right to complain to the Head of department if something goes wrong. I just hope she likes it now that we have edited it and leave us in peace. You can’t just arrive at the department and start acting this way. None of our lecturers are so strict, no one is perfect, you can’t expect them to be, especially when they’re university students. We are bound to make mistakes and learn from them.
I think I was a little more philosophical that I should have. But it was a long day, it was an awful day, and I needed to say this somewhere. I have this saying that I heard some time ago, that sorta keeps me in shape, gives me hope in times like this: “Everything’s gonna be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end”. Well it’s certainly not okay now, I just wish the end would come soon.